Anxiety is a beast. It is something I live with every single day. When I wake up in the morning I can already feel my anxiety starting. I can wake up to a beautiful day, but my head is telling me that there is something wrong. I tend to bit my husbands head off for no reason, except for the fact that I am on edge. My husband has ADD and anyone who has been around others with ADD knows that it takes patience sometimes. Something that I taught myself years ago is that, even when I am having a bad day, no one else deserves to be treated poorly because I am not in a good mood. It has taken a lot of practice, but I try to better myself each day. My husband and I feed off of each other which can be a good thing, but at the same time, it can be a bad thing. When we’re having a rough day, we trigger each other and it normally just gets worse from there. At the same time, when these days happen we are pretty quick to realize where we have gone wrong and we apologize to each other. Being in a relationship when both people have issues with their emotions it takes a lot of respect and dedication. Most of all you need to realize when you have made a mistake and be respectful enough to apologize.
I realized sometime after I had our son that my depression and anxiety just was not normal. Even though I have been medicated for almost 11 years off and on my symptoms were still out of control. Now I am on better medication and I am going to therapy. It is funny, but my therapist has only met me twice and she said I have a huge problem of putting myself last. I don’t know how to make myself first, but I will continue to work on it because I know that is something my son needs and so does my husband.
I know that this blog is a bit of a ramble, but I guess that is just what I needed today. That is me focusing on me. I hope everyone has a blessed day!