You are wonderfully strong

To the women who are children less on mother’s day, my heart goes out to you. You are one of the strongest women I have ever known. The pain is something that can not compare to anything else in the world. I am someone who has been in your shoes. I would hit the floor crying for my child that I didn’t know if I would ever meet. My heart was broken for my child that is in heaven. I sat there wondering what I had done so wrong that I was not able to conceive a child after trying for six years. What had I done wrong that my body rejected my baby that was growing inside of me? I harbored so much grief, guilt, and anger because all I wanted was to be a mother and have the family I never had. I felt less than a woman because I could not give my husband a child.

I remember looking online seeing pregnancy announcement and my heart sinking. Of course, I was happy for the person, but there was a part of my heart that was also aching for the children I already loved and they were not here yet. I would avoid the baby section in every store I would go into so I would not start hurting more than I already was. I knew I would be an amazing mother and I felt like I had done everything right, why are there people who lived their lives however they wanted and they kept having children? You watch the news and see all these children that need loving homes and then you see the children who were forgotten by the world and lost their lives due to neglect and abuse.

I heard so many people tell me what we’ve all heard “It’s just not your time.” “You’ll be a mother eventually.” “Why don’t you just adopt?” I could go on and on. I know that it is good intentions to make us feel better about your situation, but these words just make you hurt more.

You are such an amazing woman!! There is nothing wrong with you!! To go through this takes such a strong person. I know these words will not make you feel better, I just want you to know that you are not alone. You never leave my thoughts and prayers.