Be the change

April is child abuse awareness and I am finally trying to do my part as a survivor. I am doing my best to be the person I needed when I was going through it. There are so many statics that talks about how if you were abused as a child that you are more likely to abuse your children. I do not believe in blaming your upbringing on how you act in the future. You come to a place in your life where you have to take control for your own actions. Just because you were beat does not mean you have to beat on someone.
I say this because I was severely overweight and for a long time, I blamed my father and the fact that he did not teach me healthy eating habits. I wallowed in self-pity. One day I decided enough was enough and walked into an obesity clinic and my life changed from there. I had to learn new eating habits and new life choices. I am still learning every day.
I am learning right now about being a good parent. I know that abuse is in so many forms and I would rather break an arm than to ever hurt my son in any form or fashion. My son has taught me patience, unconditional love, the love between a mother and a child and most of all he has taught me what family is.
I know while I was going through my abuse I had never felt more alone in my life. I had a secret I could not tell. I could not tell my parent, my best friend or anyone. I didn’t know that if I told that I would be taken away from that place. A lot of children do not know that if they tell someone their situation that things could change. They are in a place where they feel all alone and fear of anyone finding out. Child abusers like to make their victim feel more hopeless than they already are. Children are already at a disadvantage because of their age and knowledge. They tend to believe what is being said to them.
That is why it is so important that if you suspect abuse that you call someone. Do not allow the situation to continue, while you wait it could be that child’s last chance at survival. To me, there are so many more signs that what you find online. As I am writing this I am realizing what I want to do with my life. I want to advocate for children that are going through abuse of any kind. I have the need to be that person that I needed growing up. It is all too easy to sit here and write my story, but that only helps me, I need to help others.